At United Way summer series, panelists address domestic violence survivorship
When people hear the phrase “domestic violence,” they often think of physical abuse.
“The vast majority of violent behaviors in domestic violence have zero to do with physical assault,” said Caryn Burton, homicide reduction strategies coordinator for the Indiana Coalition Against Domestic Violence. “They have everything to do with controlling access to money, with controlling access to support, with isolating that individual.”
That misperception of what domestic violence encompasses can also keep those who are experiencing it from seeking help or from viewing themselves as survivors, Burton said.
“They don’t see the level of abuse, the level of coercive control that is present in their life,” she said.
Burton spoke Wednesday as part of a panel discussion on domestic violence survivorship held at United Way of Central Indiana’s headquarters in Indianapolis.
The event was the third and final discussion in a free summer educational series United Way hosted leading up to the August appearance of Stephanie Land, bestselling author of the memoir “Maid.” Tickets are still available for Land’s keynote, “Maid for this Moment,” which will be held at 6 p.m. Aug. 24 at the Indiana Historical Society.
Land’s book was adapted as a Netflix miniseries, “Maid,” in 2021. United Way’s educational series addressed three topics covered in the memoir and show: the “benefits cliff,” early childhood education and domestic violence survivorship.
Wednesday’s panelists discussed how the coronavirus pandemic affected domestic violence rates and emergency shelters, economic barriers that can prevent someone from escaping violence, and myths and stigma surrounding domestic violence.
A pervasive myth, Burton said: That it’s easy to leave. That if the abuse was that bad, people experiencing domestic violence would just leave.
“Unfortunately, we know that that’s actually the most dangerous time for survivors,” Burton said. “… That is where we see a lot of times where the violence may escalate from emotional, psychological, financial to physical. When a partner causing harm believes that all of those other methods of control are failing, and so they have to escalate the level of violence and control that they’re exercising.”
Domestic violence affects the lives of those around the person experiencing it, including children who are exposed to trauma – even if they don’t witness physical abuse, said Danyette Smith, director of domestic violence programming for the Indianapolis Office of Public Health and Safety.
“It affects everyone all the way around, from the finances to the emotional state to friendships being ruined – it comes with a lot,” Smith said.
Lack of stable and affordable housing can serve as a significant barrier for domestic violence survivors, which was exacerbated by the coronavirus pandemic, the panelists said.
Lizzy McGrevy, domestic violence outreach specialist for 211, said 211 saw an influx in calls during the pandemic – including a “huge spike” in domestic violence-related calls.
Schools and law enforcement officers are some of the top reporters of domestic violence, McGrevy said, but schools were closed, so reports weren’t being made. The pandemic also made it harder for people, now stuck at home, to safely make calls for help, she said.
In March 2020, just before the start of the pandemic, Alternatives was already full: up to 40 people housed in emergency suites with 28 beds, said Kelly Buzan, the organization’s chief program officer.
Staff there had to have difficult conversations when people called seeking housing: the agency had to defer clients and help them find others places to live, she said.
A coalition of domestic violence agencies began having weekly calls to share resources and talk about what they were seeing and doing to continue providing services.
“It was very, very trying,” she said. “Some days, I don’t know how we did it. … We knew that people needed us, and we were just going to figure out how to make it work.”