'We must see each other’: Author Stephanie Land says listening to others’ stories can create change through empathy

Stephanie Land, bestselling author of the memoir “Maid,” signs books after speaking Aug. 24, 2022, at the Indiana Historical Society. Land's appearance was the keynote event in a summer educational series organized by United Way of Central Indiana.

In 2015, the news site Vox published a story written by Stephanie Land.  

It was an essay she’d workshopped in college about her experiences cleaning houses as a single mother.  

The essay went viral. A literary agent contacted Land, and within a year, she had a book deal.  

Speaking to a crowd of about 200 Wednesday at the Indiana Historical Society, Land said she’d worked a job where she tried to leave no footprints in the homes she cleaned.  

With her 2019 memoir, “Maid,” she had a chance to write a book where people could walk in her shoes. 

“When I wrote ‘Maid,’ I hoped it would change the stigma of single moms working as maids,” Land said. Her book was adapted as a Netflix miniseries of the same name in 2021. 

Land spoke Wednesday at the keynote event in a summer educational series organized by United Way of Central Indiana. Leading up to Land’s appearance, United Way hosted three panel discussions with local experts on topics covered in the memoir and show: the “benefits cliff,” early childhood education and domestic violence survivorship. 

Land gives voice to those United Way seeks to serve. In Central Indiana, more than 220,000 households are either in poverty or considered ALICE. An acronym for Asset Limited, Income Constrained, Employed, ALICE households earn above the Federal Poverty Level but not enough to afford a basic household budget. 

Rebecca Lynch, chair of the philanthropic group Women United, said the high cost of child care serves as a barrier for many in Indiana, particularly those who live in or near poverty.  

One year of quality care costs about $10,200 – more than a year of public college tuition, she said. A family in poverty spends over 40% of their income on childcare: “That’s a lot, and that’s nearly impossible,” Lynch said.  

Women United, one of United Way’s giving societies, is trying to raise $22,400 to fund about 200 pre-K scholarships in Indiana.  

At Wednesday’s event, Land said that when her Vox essay published, it angered rich people, forcing them to see the person cleaning their homes as a person.  

She described living in poverty as walking a tightrope over a floor that’s falling out from under you.  

“Once you’re in it, there’s no clear path out of poverty,” Land said. 

She spoke of housing and food insecurity, lasting trauma and the struggle of suddenly finding herself a “success story,” pushed up to a new part of society whose homes she once cleaned.  

Land, who is white, also said her story is one of privilege. Black, brown and Indigenous writers don’t often see the same opportunities, she said, and society doesn’t like to hear from people about their stories of struggle, including those who have experienced systemic racism.  

“We distance ourselves from stories of hardship,” she said.  

Land asked those gathered to think about invisible workers, people who have been labeled as “essential workers” during the coronavirus pandemic but who have been failed by a society that won’t pay them a livable wage, she said.  

The way to see change in the country, Land said, is by lifting up the stories of people with lived experiences, people in our communities, people of color.  

We must “remove the shame from struggle,” pay attention and listen to one another – to evoke empathy and inspire compassion, Land said.  

She said she hopes to spark a conversation, and that people aren’t afraid to share their experiences.  

“We must see each other,” Land said. 

Sponsor a pre-K scholarship

According to state figures, about 2,300 Hoosier students received scholarships to attend pre-K in 2020-2021. Indiana requires those On My Way Pre-K scholarships be funded with a 5% philanthropic match – or about $112 annually per student.   

United Way funds that match in Central Indiana. Women United, one of the nonprofit’s giving societies, is trying to raise $22,400 to fund about 200 scholarships.  

Click the button below to help fund a pre-K scholarship in Indiana.